Signs of the Zodiac
I don't like it when my phone rings at Borders because I'm always right in the middle of a good Daredevil comic book. I suppose the simple solution to this problem would be to turn my phone off when I'm in Borders. But I'm a complex guy. So I leave my phone on when I'm in Borders and choose to just become slightly annoyed each time it rings.
This time it's my friend Tom. I'm halfway through Daredevil #94, which isn't really that good of a Daredevil comic book. So I answer the phone.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm going to see 'Zodiac' in a little while," I tell him.
"Who are you going with -- a girl?" asks Tom. His eyebrows are now on top of his head.
"Yes, a friend from work," I say. "Or actually, someone I used to work with. She doesn't work there anymore."
"You have a date!" Tom cackles like a witch. Or rather more like a witch's prebubescent daughter who has just received another MySpace friend request.
"It's not a date," I say.
"Why, is she ugly?" asks Mr. Subtle.
"No, but it's not a date," I say.
"Well, what are you doing tomorrow night?" Tom wants to know. "I've got an extra ticket to the Cavs game."
"Are you asking me out on a date?" I wonder.
"It's not a date," says Tom.
Eventually my first nondate of the weekend appears and we head over to the adjacent movie theater to see "Zodiac". Normally my only interest in the zodiac is because of my dream job, which is to take over as a newspaper horoscope editor and then switch around the horoscopes every day. Today, Aries will be Leo and Leo will be Pisces. No one will ever know!
Of course none of that has to do with the movie Zodiac, which is about a California serial killer from the 1960s and 1970s. Apparently my nondate has some interest in the Zodiac, so I begin to slightly worry that a person who I sat next to at work for four years has some homicidal tendencies. I am merely interested in Zodiac because (a) I need to fulfill my movie-per-day quota and (b) because reviews are great and (c) the cast is outstanding. You won't catch me at a lousy movie just because some girl wants to go!
I survive the movie. Fortunately if my movie nondate has homicidal tendencies, she does not have them toward former coworkers. The only thing I have to fear is the bedsores from sitting through three hours worth of movie and previews.
And my phone only rings twice during the movie. I hate that! Good thing I put it on vibrate.
TWO-WORD MOVIE REVIEW
Zodiac: Positive outlook