Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Punished by The Punisher

In order to watch "The Punisher", you should have the following:

  • Absolutely nothing to do. This is two hours of your life you won't be getting back.
  • A detachable brain. You're going to want to open up your skull, take out your brain, and put it in a block of ice so as not to damage it during the movie.
  • At least a hundred comic books scattered about the house. Preferably Daredevil or, say, The Punisher.
  • No girlfriend.
Fortunately, I qualify!

One night a week I work til 9 p.m, then turn around the next morning and work at 8 a.m. These short nights don't leave much time for anything; it's hard to take on a household project, any Cavs and Indians game is usually almost over by the time I get home, a night of beer drinking is not the wisest thing since it will be hard to sober up by morning.

But I still have a couple hours to unwind before I'm ready for bed. So on such nights, a movie is the perfect way to relax. Even if that movie is "The Punisher". Before I grabbed it off the library shelves (you think I paid money to watch this?) I knew that (a) it was most likely horrible, (b) it was most likely stupid, and (c) it was most likely going to fill the two hours between getting home and going to bed.

Happy to report that "The Punisher" fulfilled my expectations. I was so tired by the end of this flick that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. It's a miracle that I didn't fall asleep on the courch before I even made it to bed. But then I couldn't count this as one of the movies I've watched this year!

And I'm in luck. Apparently "The Punisher" was so successful they're making another one! Sometime this year, "The Punisher 2" (set in New York City this time, and featuring arch-villain Jigsaw, though not the Jigsaw from the Saw movies) comes out, and sometime a few months after that, on another night where I work late I'll take it home, put my brain on ice, and waste two more hours.

Maybe by then I'll have a girlfriend to piss off by watching it.

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